Jennifer Courtney Jennifer Courtney
Jen Courtney
Author | Speaker | Coach

It's ok to be confident

2017-10-01 17:48:32

"It's okay to be confident." This was a grow point I received after a speech I recently gave, and these words have been stuck in my head ever since. As a girl/woman, we are often taught in many different ways that being "confident" is seen as a negative. She's bossy, aggressive, abrasive, cocky, snob, Bit@#, who does she think she is, she must be doing "favors" for the boss!!!! I have heard my fair share of these in my days, and I have spent many years feeling insecure, unsure, and almost apologetic about my ambitions or areas that I excel at. I have found that people (sadly, often other woman) like to see others fail. They like to point out others’ flaws as if that erases theirs somehow. They will gossip about other woman's marriages, kids, weight, messy house, all in order to feel better about their own lives. I used to hide in order to avoid these judgments, but as I approach my 39th Birthday I have had a light bulb moment, and I don't plan on going back to living in the dark.

SO, here is the lesson I have learned. Take from it what you will.

We are ALL FLAWED. We all have something that we are good at, or maybe even GREAT at, and we will all have successes AND failures. ALL our kids will have moments (or years) where they are jerks, where they act in a way that is not how we raised them. Moments where they throw themselves to the floor screaming because we said no to a kinder surprise, or where we had to "parent" our teens, and they now “hate our guts!” Most of us will gain weight/ lose weight many times over our lives, and we will all have moments in our relationships where it's so flipping hard you just want to give up.

I have hid for many years because I don't want to be judged, because I don't want to try something, fail at it, and have others happy that I did, OR succeed at it and have others secretly (or not so secretly) wish I had failed. However, I have come to realize that me hidings doesn't stop the judgment, It only stops my growth, and holds me back from truly living.

The truth is, strong woman who are good and kind and healthy in mind, body and soul, LIFT other woman up. They support, encourage, guide, and cheer other woman on. They enjoy talking about ideas, plans and goals and they are sending out positive vibes to everyone, because they know there is more than enough negative vibes out there.

SO, as I head into my 40th year on earth I will do so with confidence. I will be proud of my God given strengths and I will embrace them. I will not be apologetic that my kids are not perfect, because they are learning and growing too, and I will not feel guilty that my first marriage failed. I will be proud of me and all my successes and failures.

Today, fellow strong woman (and Men), I want you to look in the mirror and tell that beauty on the other side why she is rock star. Why she is worthy of love and success. Tell her why her scars, rolls, cellulite or rock hard abs don't define her! AND please tell her to be kind to other woman and say NO to the haters when they try to spread negativity about others. Today is a new day, step into the light and become who you were meant to be. We were not meant to hide in the dark, we ALL were meant to shine in the light. Find your light, friends! Step into it and embrace your arrival. You are worthy of happiness, peace and success.